I’ve been active in the queer community for almost twenty years now—always with the best intentions and an unstoppable passion to help people, support them, and fight for a society where we all coexist.
Of course, people, societies, and goals change. What began as demands for gay men and lesbians to be allowed to marry, adopt children, and have the same professional opportunities as heterosexuals gradually expanded to include trans issues, and later the LGB and LGBT acronyms grew longer and longer. With each new letter came new goals and demands—and all of them are valid. Yet I have serious doubts about how these goals are being pursued.
But what do I know? I’m just an old, white, cis-perceived man, and as discussions constantly remind me, part of the problem. As if the goal of (queer) feminism isn’t equality and fair treatment for all people, regardless of gender or sexuality, but rather that all cis men should feel bad and out of place.
Increasingly, I get the impression—no, not just the impression, it’s reflected in the statements of younger people in these discussions—that they no longer have the patience to wait for improvements. So they oppose everything without any concept of how things could be better.
This extends to police officers as well, even queer police officers, who are accused of being part of the problem rather than being acknowledged for trying to make change from within the system.
As long as this attitude persists in the queer community, it will be impossible to win a united fight against exclusion and discrimination.
It is important to me to create awareness and respect within the community—that men, whether gay, bisexual, or straight, also have feelings and vulnerabilities. Only when every person respects the emotions and pain of others can feminism be said to have nearly achieved its goal.
That’s all from me. I hope as many people as possible will join this project.
Best, Suri
P.S.: Contrary to what young queer feminists believe, that Trans* people and POC founded the Prides: NOT EXACTLY! Not in Germany. The first demonstrations in Germany were the Pentecost demonstrations in Berlin, organized by the Homosexuelle Aktion Westberlin (HAW), which demanded equal pay for homosexual men. The CSD was only later used in its current form to advocate for the rights and equality of LGB → LGBT → Queer.
You can read more here: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuelle_Aktion_Westberlin
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My friends and I also discuss this topic repeatedly. While LGB people—at least those I know—stand up for everyone’s rights, it seems to me that in modern queer feminism, white, gay, cis men are constantly portrayed as “YOU ARE TO BLAME!” And I wonder, where does that come from? What have we done—or failed to do? Aren’t we equally advocating for the rights of trans* people? For the acceptance of POC? Have I missed something?
Don’t we all stand together in the streets every year to fight for exactly these things? Or have queer feminists really become so blinded that they no longer even see us, simply because we are, for example, white, gay, cis men?
Even the argument that POC and trans* people “carried” the movement is not entirely correct, even from an international perspective. On the contrary.
The Stonewall uprisings involved ALL LGBTQ people. It wasn’t only trans* people or POC who stood up. There were also heterolike and leather men who put their asses on the line for us, despite the risk of being ostracized or imprisoned.
This experience clearly shows how people tend to think in black and white and consider only their own bubbles as the “true” ones. How about we return more to the original spirit of the Stonewall uprisings?
Freedom! Equality! The right to love whoever we want!
Regardless of sexuality, gender, or skin color. So dear queer feminists: stop labeling us as “The Problem” just because we have a different skin color or are content with our gender identity. We still help you! We still march with you and for you in the streets! Maybe one day you’ll recognize the history and work of all queer community members, instead of looking for problems where none exist.
Gerry
P.S.: And I am pro-police at CSDs. Because they are also fighting for us. And that should be acknowledged too.