A&R - 4: Alcoholism and alpha repsonsibility (Gerry)

Unfortunately, I have to tell two stories in one here, because one does not work without the other. And I want to add one more thing: the passage of time wears on all of us. Many of us learn from experiences and problems and continue to grow. If anyone recognizes themselves here solely based on the situations described: this is not a current picture I have. It is something I felt several years ago. In addition, there will be no addendum this time, as this is my own text.

I once knew a person who was both part of our community and regularly attended smaller events. And all events with him had one thing in common: he was always drunk before the event even began.
I have never experienced him sober, and there were several people who were worried about him. He consumed amounts of alcohol that made me feel sick just watching.

Sure: when I’m at regular meetups and the like, I also enjoy having a drink now and then. But I don’t show up drunk. It quickly created the impression that he had a very serious alcohol problem, and since he also seemed quite young to me, that worried me even more.
I talked about it with people who were closer to him. Including his “Alpha.” And somehow I felt like I had landed in the wrong movie. Nobody really seemed to care.

“He’s an adult. He knows what he’s doing.”

“That’s none of our business.”

And when I asked his Alpha to take care of his Omega, the only response was …

“That’s not my problem.”

Of course, none of these quotes are word-for-word. It’s been too long for that. But that last answer in particular made me furious. The young man had an obvious problem. So obvious that he often ended up lying somewhere in a seating corner, barely responsive.
And maybe I see this too strictly, but if I, as an Alpha, take someone under my wing—whether in a pack or in a private dynamic—I take on the same responsibility as in a long-term Dom–sub relationship.

You take on a share of responsibility for a person who places their trust in you. At first, there was at least some attention paid to his drinking behavior, but over time that, too, was simply dropped.
Instead of drawing consequences to protect this pup, the pup was, at times, encouraged to drink even more. And more. Because of my own experiences with alcoholics in my youth, this deeply concerned me.

There was one publicly accessible (!) event (which was actually SFW) where the pup was once again in bad shape from alcohol, and his Alpha decided he needed to discipline him in front of everyone. I don’t know exactly why, but the situation was not only disturbing—it genuinely scared me.
The pup was lying curled up on the floor, and the Alpha was “beating” him with various very unfriendly words. But as shocking as that may sound, that was not what shocked me the most.

What shocked me most was that NO ONE did anything. On the contrary: a cluster of guys formed who actually encouraged it. And unfortunately, I no longer remember exactly whether I tried to intervene immediately or not. Back then, I wasn’t very confident, especially not without backup—which I didn’t have at the time. I left just a few moments later.
I do know that I addressed it afterward, and that I thought (and still think) that something like that has no place at such an event.

“That was agreed upon and within the boundaries.”

On top of that, my feelings at the time were not taken seriously.

I was stunned by the disrespect of dismissing my feelings like that. And now, thinking back on it, a few questions come to mind:

When did I give my consent to witness something like this?
Was it part of the agreement between the Alpha and the Omega to humiliate and hit him mercilessly in front of dozens of people?
Why is an obvious alcohol addiction being exploited here?
And why did no one (including myself) intervene directly?

At least for the last question, I have a theory: most of the people who went to the location were alone or in pairs. The crowd, however, consisted of a good 10–15 people. As tough and masculine as everyone likes to present themselves, the courage to intervene in situations like this is often lacking. Maybe I should have reacted differently back then.
Perhaps I should have spoken to the venue operators and told them that this behavior made me uncomfortable. But would they have listened to me? I don’t know. I also don’t know how things continued in general, as I had distanced myself after that.

I found this situation—exploiting alcohol addiction for one’s own benefit, while refusing to take responsibility or provide protection for one’s charge—so disturbing that I stopped attending that event altogether.
I have had, and still have, charges of my own. Maybe I have an overly strong daddy-mind in my head, but I try my best to be there for each of my charges, and above all to speak up when I find a behavior concerning.

Am I the only one who handles it this way in an Alpha > pack/Omega or Dom > sub relationship? Doesn’t the protective function also belong to it—and ensuring that everyone involved feels safe?
And as someone who knows what it feels like when dozens of pairs of legs block every escape route while someone is beating down on you, I cannot, for the life of me, imagine that anyone who is barely responsive anymore can seriously give informed consent to something like that.

We all need to become more sensitive—especially when it comes to the consumption of alcohol or drugs. Instead of handing another beer to someone who can barely stand, it would be far more responsible to accompany that person home or at least make sure they get home safely.
Recognizing that one has a problem must, of course, come from the person themselves. But there is no need to provide even more alcohol, and clear boundaries should be set. Because let’s be honest: we want to have a long time together—and a long future for this community as well.