{"id":2447,"date":"2019-09-20T10:30:15","date_gmt":"2019-09-20T08:30:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/?p=2447"},"modified":"2026-01-04T18:55:08","modified_gmt":"2026-01-04T17:55:08","slug":"take-my-help-2-anonym-aus-unbekannt-social-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/take-my-help-2-anonym-aus-unbekannt-social-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"Take my Help #2: Anonym from unknown \u2013 Social anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\tHello Gerry. After reading your first puppy post, which I thought was great, by the way, I decided to ask you for some advice. There's been a thought in my head for some time now that won't go away. It's burrowing deeper and deeper into my mind, and I'm now wondering: is this normal?

\n\nAbout my background:

\nI used to have problems with depression and was in treatment for some time because of it. It helped me a little to learn how to deal with my inner demons on my own without falling too deep. During my therapy, I met my partner, who has been by my side and cheering me up ever since the therapy ended. Nevertheless, there are always ups and downs, of course. Not least because of my social anxiety, or social phobia. I find it extremely difficult to talk to strangers, which is why I generally have few friends. For example, during breaks at my vocational school, I sit completely alone on a bench because I don't know how to connect with the others.

\n\nIn general, I can't stand being around people for long without getting annoyed or exhausted. To date, there are only three people I can spend more than 24 hours with without going crazy. I think I could even put up with two of them for the rest of my life. I also find it difficult to maintain regular contact with people because I think I'm just annoying them anyway. As a result, I lose touch with many people whom I actually like very much, and contact slowly but surely disappears. Nevertheless, it should be mentioned that until about 1 1\/2 years ago, I couldn't even buy a movie ticket without feeling sick, becoming completely nervous, and being close to a panic attack. But that has improved in the meantime. Now I can handle it (more or less). Lately, though, I personally feel like I'm not making any progress. In terms of my personality, I mean. It's as if I'm stuck. And the worst thing is that I have to give a lot of presentations at my vocational school, which is an absolute nightmare for me.
\n(I've just written down my thoughts and hope that it's not too confusing.)

\n\nSo I wanted to ask you: Is this (relatively) normal? And do you perhaps have any tips on how I can deal with it better?

\n\nThank you for reading. It's really nice to get these thoughts off my chest.

\nBest regards, Anonymous\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAnonymous<\/cite>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Hey Anonymous,<\/p>\n\nFirst of all, thank you very much for your encouraging words about this project. I am delighted that the first \u201cletter\u201d has encouraged others to also dare to talk about their worries and problems. But let's get straight to your concern without further ado.<\/p>\n\nI have a general question: If the therapy helped you, at least a little, why don't you do it anymore? From what I read in your text, it seems that you are definitely lacking support.<\/p>\n\nThat you assume you annoy other people is something I know very well. That can absolutely lead to becoming very withdrawn into yourself. Or even to losing motivation for everything. Because of this, I adopted a really bad habit.<\/p>\n

\n\n\u201cIf I\u2019m getting on your nerves, please tell me!\u201d<\/p>\n\nThat sentence has been with me for a very long time. Whenever I get the impression that someone doesn\u2019t want to talk to me, this sentence just spills out\u2014often without me even thinking about it. And I\u2019ve received a lot of criticism for it.
This is where you need to start discarding that thought yourself. Believe that people will tell you directly if you are getting on their nerves. Only rarely do they keep that to themselves. Assuming it from the outset can very well prevent wonderful encounters, and you end up missing out on a lot.<\/p>\nNow to the core of your question: Yes, it is normal that you have the impression that nothing is moving forward. But that is primarily because you don\u2019t seem to trust yourself with anything. Especially not in connection with other people. And that holds you back immensely.
You wrote that you have to give many presentations at your vocational school. There are a few tips for that. You need your notes, a mirror, and some kind of device with which you can record your surroundings.<\/p>\n\nBefore a presentation\u2014ideally two evenings beforehand\u2014you stand in front of a mirror, switch on the recording device, and run through your presentation as calmly as possible. Pay close attention to your emphasis and the content you are delivering. It is important that you do not lose eye contact with yourself in the process.
When you are finished, listen to the recording. Check it for fluctuations in your voice, accuracy of content, and confidence in your acoustic presence. Do this until you are satisfied with the result. You will notice that by the end of the day, specifically with regard to this presentation, you will feel more confident. And during the presentation itself, pick several points in the classroom between which you calmly shift your gaze. This gives the impression that you are engaging with your classmates. Staring at a wall helps too, but it does nothing to counter your anxiety.<\/p>\n\nI would advise you to resume therapy in any case. It doesn\u2019t have to be weekly, but once a month certainly wouldn\u2019t hurt you. And if you make progress there, other things will start to feel easier again as well. What matters is that you don\u2019t fall into a hole of demotivation and inactivity. And if you do, allow people who care about you to pull you back out of it.
If you find someone likeable\u2014especially at vocational school\u2014approach them. You don\u2019t have to marry them, but it can help to have someone on your side.<\/p>\nSelf-abandonment helps no one. In general, look for activities that you enjoy. Go out, get to know the world. Build new connections, and there will always be someone there for you who will walk with you through shitty times as well.<\/p>\n\nLong story short:
You can do anything if you allow yourself to. Talk to people, do self-exercises with a recorder and a mirror, chest out, stomach in, head up. Because if the snout is up \u2026 no, that doesn\u2019t work. But you know what I mean. Don\u2019t give up, and work a little on yourself every day. And give people the chance to prove to you that you are not annoying.<\/p>\n\nBest regards
Gerry<\/p>\n

\n\n<\/p>\n

\n

\n\n\nNote: I am not a trained psychologist or doctor. Please consult a doctor if you are experiencing physical or psychological symptoms.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hallo lieber Gerry. Nach deinem ersten Welpen Beitrag, den ich nebenbei bemerkt super fand, hab ich mich dazu entschlossen, dich […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12538,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[172,171],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ar-tmh","category-mirus"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2447"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2447\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13901,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2447\/revisions\/13901"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}