{"id":13573,"date":"2026-01-24T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-24T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/?p=13573"},"modified":"2026-01-18T20:21:11","modified_gmt":"2026-01-18T19:21:11","slug":"luxuria-1-hate-wutabbau-beim-sex-oder-doch-falsche-wahrnehmung-anderer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/luxuria-1-hate-wutabbau-beim-sex-oder-doch-falsche-wahrnehmung-anderer\/","title":{"rendered":"Luxuria #1 \u2013 Hate**** \u2013 Releasing Anger Through Sex (or Just Others\u2019 Misperception?)"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\tPreliminary note: What this is (not) about<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tYes. The title is long. Sorry. I couldn\u2019t describe it any other way. This is not about anything illegal or any form of abuse. Quite the opposite. It\u2019s about impressions and, above all, self-reflection.
\n\nIt\u2019s also fair to say: if my sexual escapades don\u2019t interest you, you should probably keep your distance from the Luxuria (lust) posts. That said, on to the actual point.<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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My sexuality \u2013 rough, but not random<\/h4>

People who know me better have a rough idea of how I work sexually. Over the past few years, I\u2019ve realized that while I get the most out of plain, vanilla sex (no elaborate physical aids), I also tend to get rough at times.
The important part: it\u2019s not person-dependent. It doesn\u2019t matter whether I feel something like love for the other person or a different kind of affection. That\u2019s just how it is.<\/p>

The situation: fetish party and darkroom<\/h4>

A few months ago, there was a small adventure at a fetish party. I was in a good mood and even somewhat aroused\u2014which is rather rare for me at such parties. At some point, one thing led to another and we disappeared into the infamous darkrooms.
Some touching here, some groping there, and eventually the third person knelt down and started giving blowjobs. I mean, he was really good. But then the Dom in me comes through, and the throat gets worked hard.<\/p>

I do try to pay attention to the other person\u2019s reactions and to stop in time\u2014or stop entirely\u2014if there are strong negative reactions (negative for me). That wasn\u2019t directly the case here.
It went on for a while, then it was over.
Afterwards we talked normally, and like every party, this one ended too. Everyone went home and on with their lives.<\/p>

The break: a retrospective accusation<\/h4>

The next morning, I got a message asking whether that had been a hate**** and saying it wasn\u2019t okay. For context: some time before, that person hadn\u2019t been nice to my partner, and I had expressed my displeasure very clearly. I didn\u2019t really think about that that evening.
<\/br>I was honestly shocked at first. And I seriously started questioning whether it had been one or not. But I was\u2014and still am\u2014certain that it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>

Communication, consent, and responsibility<\/h4>

I tried to respond as calmly as possible and told him that I see it differently, and that I\u2019m generally that \u201crough\u201d during blowjobs if I\u2019m allowed to be. I also tried to make something clear to him\u2014something that men under 30, in particular, seem to need to learn: say immediately if you don\u2019t like something or if it doesn\u2019t feel good. Not after the fact, when the damage is done.
Especially with more \u201cspontaneous\u201d encounters, you can\u2019t clarify everything in advance. And for me, it\u2019s far more of a mood killer to read something like that afterward than to hear during the act: \u201cHey, I don\u2019t like that. Can we do it differently?\u201d
On the contrary: that shows me the other person is present and that both of us want it to be good for both sides.<\/p>

Power imbalance does not mean irresponsibility<\/h4>

This reminds me of a written exchange I had a few weeks later. A young pup was of the opinion that everything the Master\/Alpha wants must be done\u2014regardless of how the pup feels. No. Definitely not.
As an acquaintance put it recently: it\u2019s the slave\u2019s job to educate the master in a way that the slave is doing well. And\u2014as I\u2019ve said many times elsewhere\u2014it\u2019s the master\u2019s job to ensure the slave feels comfortable. Whether in BDSM play or in power dynamics like Alpha\/Omega\/Owner, etc.<\/p>

Conclusion: no anger, no outlet<\/h4>

As a final note: I don\u2019t hook up with anyone I truly can\u2019t stand. And certainly not with someone I\u2019m angry at. That\u2019s not my style, and it wouldn\u2019t be fun for me.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\tINFOBOX: Sexual Abuse & Support Resources<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tConsent is not one-sided. And if it is enforced one-sidedly, those affected have various options available.

\nGermany: Online police report portals (state-specific)
USA: Local police online reporting portals (varies by city\/state)
UK: Police online reporting via local constabularies
\nhttps:\/\/www.online-strafanzeige.de\/<\/a>

\n\nEU (general): National police online reporting portals (varies by country)

Information and support organizations:

Germany: Wei\u00dfer Ring
USA: RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
UK: Victim Support
Australia: 1800RESPECT
Canada: Victim Services (provincial organizations)

If you are affected, professional help and confidential support are available through these services.
\nhttps:\/\/weisser-ring.de\/<\/a><\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vorbemerkung: Worum es hier (nicht) geht Ja. Der Titel ist sehr lang. Sorry. Aber ich konnte es nicht anders beschreiben. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13539,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[155,152],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-luxuria","category-vices"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13573","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13573"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13573\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14035,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13573\/revisions\/14035"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13573"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13573"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13573"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}