{"id":13476,"date":"2026-01-04T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-04T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/?p=13476"},"modified":"2026-01-17T15:22:15","modified_gmt":"2026-01-17T14:22:15","slug":"acedia-1-bye-bye-csr-hallo-perspektivlosigkeit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/acedia-1-bye-bye-csr-hallo-perspektivlosigkeit\/","title":{"rendered":"Tristitia #1 - Bye Bye CSR \u2013 Hello Lack of Perspective"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"13476\" class=\"elementor elementor-13476\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c86388f e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"c86388f\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cdfc4de elementor-alert-info elementor-widget elementor-widget-alert\" data-id=\"cdfc4de\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"alert.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-alert\" role=\"alert\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-title\">Little hint<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-description\">Within the starting phase, the category were \"Acedia\" Sloth). After I check my inner reasons it was changed to \"Tristitia\" (Melancholy).<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"elementor-alert-dismiss\" aria-label=\"Dismiss this alert.\" data-no-translation-aria-label=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span aria-hidden=\"true\">&times;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2fed7ef elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2fed7ef\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4>Leaving CSR<\/h4><p>I think the biggest change for me in 2025 was \u201closing\u201d my job. Although \u201closing\u201d isn\u2019t exactly the right word\u2014hence the quotation marks. It was just time. My manager and I had already discussed in 2024 whether this was still the right place for me\u2014especially from a psychological perspective.<\/p><p>My therapist had also occasionally questioned whether I was even \u201ccapable\u201d of continuing in this work, since it was more draining than beneficial. So, in the middle of a major company transition, my manager and I set the resignation process in motion.<\/p><h4>The First Free Morning<\/h4><p>The day after receiving my termination notice\u2014along with a settlement agreement that included immediate release\u2014I woke up feeling lighter than I ever had. I got up and decided to drive to Frankfurt for breakfast.<\/p><p>It was a relaxed morning, free from the burdens of my CSR job and from the weight of working in a company where there was no real room to grow, while others\u2026 certain individuals could do as they pleased and even advance\u2014albeit within very limited bounds.<\/p><h4>Enjoying Freedom and Idleness<\/h4><p>I really enjoyed the first period of being unemployed and devoted myself to things I hadn\u2019t had the headspace for in months. And that was good, I think. Yet I nearly forgot how the mind works.<\/p><p>I hadn\u2019t spent 14 years stuck in that job for nothing. Not because they particularly wanted to keep me, but rather\u2014here comes the \u201cAcedia\u201d factor\u2014because I didn\u2019t have the energy or courage to seek something new. But now I was forced to.<\/p><h4>Unemployment and Reality<\/h4><p>It\u2019s been about six months now. My notice period is over, and now I\u2019m unemployed\u2014something I never wanted to be again. The mental sluggishness I experience makes it easy to get discouraged. I don\u2019t want one disappointment after another.<\/p><p>So I limit applications to positions that list the most extravagant requirements, for a minimum. For career changers in this country, it often feels like there\u2019s no room. Even intensive further training, sometimes exceeding university-level content, has little value in the job market\u2014even if the certificates are from reputable universities.<\/p><h4>Small Career Goals and Obstacles<\/h4><p>I do have small career wishes here and there. For example, working in youth services or attempting a lateral entry into HR with a focus on diversity\/equality. But for the first, I\u2019d need at least a bachelor\u2019s in social work; for the second, one in HR management. Both usually require the corresponding high school diploma\u2014which I don\u2019t have. Where would I have gotten it? I grew up, generously put, in the lower-middle class. Education is expensive or assumes a theoretical intelligence that few possess.<\/p><p>If I wanted to pursue these trainings or degrees, the costs would easily run into the lower five figures. Impossible for me. Further training through the employment agency wouldn\u2019t get me where I want to go.<\/p><h4>Mental Sluggishness and Fear<\/h4><p>And here comes the core aspect of my (mental) sluggishness again. I don\u2019t have the energy or strength to keep searching. Whatever I look at: it\u2019s either not what I want or comes with insane financial burdens that I cannot\u2014honestly, do not want to\u2014bear.<\/p><p>This sluggishness only increases the fear of ending up in a job one accepts just because there\u2019s nothing else. Clinging to it for years out of fear of finding nothing else, convincing oneself to stay even under the worst conditions\u2014and in doing so, only creating more mental problems or greater unhappiness. Do I want that again?<\/p><h4>Advice and Reflection<\/h4><p>So what to do? And then there are people around who give well-meaning advice, but you know yourself: \u201cI can\u2019t do that,\u201d \u201cThat would be too close to me,\u201d or \u201cThat won\u2019t get me anywhere\u201d\u2014and you don\u2019t argue, because otherwise you\u2019d be seen as ungrateful.<\/p><p>What do you think? What experiences have you had with unemployment, especially if you\u2019re also neurodivergent? Should you follow advice even if you know it won\u2019t work, or rather pause and stay calm, even if it takes a few weeks\u2014which might also feed the sluggishness?<\/p><p>External influences, even outside my immediate circle, could be very helpful.<\/p><p>Gerry<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kleiner Hinweis W\u00e4hrend der Startphase war diese Kategorie noch &#8222;Acedia&#8220; (Tr\u00e4gheit). Aufgrund genauerer Auseinandersetzung mit dem, was ich eigentlich will, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13915,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[158,152],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tristitia","category-vices"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13476","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13476"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13476\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14031,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13476\/revisions\/14031"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13915"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13476"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13476"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}