{"id":11255,"date":"2024-01-09T11:21:40","date_gmt":"2024-01-09T10:21:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/?p=11255"},"modified":"2026-01-04T18:56:42","modified_gmt":"2026-01-04T17:56:42","slug":"ar-6-automatischer-consent-niemals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/en\/ar-6-automatischer-consent-niemals\/","title":{"rendered":"A&amp;R - 6: Automatic consent? NEVER! (Archie)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"11255\" class=\"elementor elementor-11255\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1fd5e54 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1fd5e54\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a02c3e9\" data-id=\"a02c3e9\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d7407bc elementor-alert-info elementor-widget elementor-widget-alert\" data-id=\"d7407bc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"alert.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-alert\" role=\"alert\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-title\">Content note<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-description\">This post is about sexual misconduct, both in real life and in digital spaces.<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"elementor-alert-dismiss\" aria-label=\"Dismiss this alert.\" data-no-translation-aria-label=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span aria-hidden=\"true\">&times;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b240ad0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"b240ad0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"410\" src=\"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/6-trenner-1024x410.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-11257\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/6-trenner-1024x410.png 1024w, https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/6-trenner-300x120.png 300w, https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/6-trenner-768x307.png 768w, https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/6-trenner.png 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a1f5a52 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a1f5a52\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Anyone who knows me a bit better will hardly be surprised by my choice of topic. It\u2019s something I never get tired of talking about: consent. In other words, everyone involved agrees to what is happening.<\/p><p>I think we all know the exhausting issue that gear or revealing clothing does not equal consent to anything.<br \/>My first serious experience related to this, which has stuck with me, happened many years ago at a CSD. My outfit was, admittedly, quite revealing. As I was walking through the city after the parade to get to the stage, a significantly older man approached me and first asked politely whether he could take a photo of me. After he took the picture and showed it to me on his camera, he took the opportunity to simply grab my crotch and make a lewd comment.<\/p><p>What I find particularly sad about this: he had the decency to ask whether he could take a photo. But either he saw my consent to the photo as a free pass, or he simply thought it wasn\u2019t necessary to ask whether he could grab my crotch.<br \/>Unfortunately, I was still quite young back then and had internalized the kind of bullshit women are far too often confronted with after sexual assault. So I said nothing and let it happen. After all, it was my own fault for walking around like that.<br \/>Today, I could slap myself for that thought alone, and the situation would play out very differently now.<\/p><p>My point is this: nothing gives another person the right to assume your consent to anything.<\/p><p>But does it only start when someone is sexually groped? Or shouldn\u2019t it actually start much earlier?<br \/>For example, I believe that even on PlanetRomeo or similar platforms, you should ask before sending explicit pictures whether the other person actually wants them at that moment. Some people might roll their eyes at this and accuse me internally of being prudish. That\u2019s not the point. I\u2019m not generally opposed to receiving such pictures. But there are simply situations in which I don\u2019t want to open explicit images.<\/p><p>For instance, when I\u2019m bored sitting on a train or tram and have the app open. There are other people around, and even if I try to angle my phone so the person next to me can\u2019t see anything, in the worst case it reflects in the window.<br \/>And does it really hurt to ask briefly beforehand? Is the pressure so overwhelming that you can\u2019t wait a short moment for an answer?<br \/>I\u2019ve discussed this with many different people. What hurt me the most was that I once heard from my own partner: \u201cDon\u2019t make such a fuss. That\u2019s just part of those platforms.\u201d<br \/>And in a way, he\u2019s right. It is part of it. But should it be? I think: no.<\/p><p>However, these conversations also showed me that the point at which explicit consent becomes necessary is not automatically the same for everyone.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4b73049 elementor-alert-info elementor-widget elementor-widget-alert\" data-id=\"4b73049\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"alert.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-alert\" role=\"alert\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-title\">Info from Gerry:<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-description\">This section was shortened in agreement with Archie, as a more detailed post on this topic will be published in the near future, where Archie\u2019s addition will be highlighted separately.<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"elementor-alert-dismiss\" aria-label=\"Dismiss this alert.\" data-no-translation-aria-label=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span aria-hidden=\"true\">&times;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-33be6aa elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"33be6aa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>By the way, consent does not last forever once it has been given. Just because I agreed the day before yesterday that someone may send me pictures doesn\u2019t mean I automatically agree again right now.<br \/>Consent can also be withdrawn. If someone agreed an hour ago to have sex with me and then changes their mind in the meantime \u2013 for whatever reason \u2013 I have no right to claim that there was consent an hour ago. Just as little am I required to explain why I don\u2019t want something. That\u2019s another thing that keeps coming up on Romeo and similar platforms. You politely decline and the first response is: \u201cWhy? What doesn\u2019t fit?\u201d<\/p><p>And because Gerry\u2019s last post already touched on this topic: <br \/>If someone is intoxicated \u2013 whether by alcohol or other substances \u2013 any consent given by that person is null and void. It doesn\u2019t matter whether it was given in that moment or hours, days, or even months earlier.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fac4e04 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"fac4e04\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"410\" src=\"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Trenner-Gerry3-1024x410.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-11067\" alt=\"Gerrys Erg\u00e4nzung\" srcset=\"https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Trenner-Gerry3-1024x410.png 1024w, https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Trenner-Gerry3-300x120.png 300w, https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Trenner-Gerry3-768x307.png 768w, https:\/\/g-wie-gerry.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Trenner-Gerry3.png 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e42daa0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e42daa0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I don\u2019t even know whether or what I want to add, because I completely agree with the text. Except for this small info box:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0c750da elementor-alert-info elementor-widget elementor-widget-alert\" data-id=\"0c750da\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"alert.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-alert\" role=\"alert\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-title\">Helping Box<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-alert-description\">If you have been a victim of sexual abuse or another crime, take a look at<a href=\"https:\/\/weisser-ring.de\/\" target=\"_blank\">Wei\u00dfen Ring<\/a>(unpaid mention). They offer counseling and support.\nIf you receive unsolicited dick pics and want to take action,<a href=\"https:\/\/hateaid.org\/link-in-bio-dickstinction\/\" target=\"_blank\">Hateaid<\/a>(unpaid mention) provides information on how you can proceed or report it.<\/span>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"elementor-alert-dismiss\" aria-label=\"Dismiss this alert.\" data-no-translation-aria-label=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span aria-hidden=\"true\">&times;<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Content note In diesem Beitrag geht es um sexuelle \u00dcbergriffigkeiten sowohl im realen, als auch im digitalen Raum. &times; Wer [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12549,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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