Triggers and overload
Neurodivergence comes with certain disadvantages you have to live with. Among other things, a lack of patience or a strong inability to understand certain behaviors. In recent years, there have been more and more situations where I honestly feel like throwing up.
Roles and responsibility
In any social construct—be it an interest group, a company, or a team—everyone has a role they need to fulfill so the whole thing can function. Some people grow into a role, others grab it. Both have one thing in common: if you take on a role, you also take on the responsibilities that come with it.
I have very often experienced that many people who take on specific roles are not even aware of the responsibilities attached to them—especially when it comes to roles with leadership responsibility.
When nothing happens
What actually happens when people neither fulfill their role nor their responsibilities? I think that’s a very good question and not one you can answer across the board. But I’ll generalize anyway:
Nothing. In many cases, literally nothing happens.
In those moments, I ask myself whether incompetence is now simply being blindly accepted. And this is where the topic falls under Superbia (pride).
Pride—from two sides
On the one hand, because in these situations I often think: “I could do that better.” Whether I really could, I don’t know. But something in me is very convinced of it in those moments.
On the other hand, it is also arrogant for people who hold such roles not to question their own incompetence—and to resort to blame-shifting when confronted. I experienced this very often during my time at my former company. Those are moments where I have to pull myself together a lot.
People who are full of incompetence usually show no insight. On the contrary: they deflect (sometimes justified) criticism and throw it straight back at the sender. And often they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Frequently, these are also people who can get away with a lot without facing any serious consequences.
A concrete example
One person in my company was exactly like that. When you addressed problems, they always shifted the blame to others. And not only that.
They always had to have the last word and pushed themselves into everything—far outside their actual area of responsibility. In the end, this person was surprised that many other employees had serious issues with them and once again looked for the fault elsewhere.
The result: this person got their way and was able to more or less choose their own tasks. At the same time, they didn’t even do the tasks they were actually responsible for well. Quite the opposite.
Expectations of responsibility
I believe that if a role is clearly defined, or if a certain “title” already sets a direction, then you should live up to it accordingly. And even if you can’t (temporarily), you should communicate transparently why things aren’t working—instead of making excuses or shifting blame.
Yes, maybe it’s arrogant of me to believe that I could fill role XY better than someone else. But I find the arrogance of those far worse who fail to perform their roles properly, shine through incompetence and blame-shifting, and still get away with it largely unscathed—or even get promoted.
What are your experiences with incompetence? Maybe in relation to family, hobbies, or work.
Gerry
Notice: This is not about one-off or minor incompetence. It’s about truly letting a team down or consistently performing at a substandard level.