Neurodivergence and social friction
Depending on how strongly neurodivergence is expressed, neurodivergent people face very different challenges. The archive of this blog contains countless posts on this topic. Still, I think it makes sense to revisit it within the framework of this new style.
For people like me, social conventions are often difficult because they frequently collide with our logic. We express our thoughts differently or perceive other people’s statements differently than neurotypical people do.
Recurring experiences in working life
This has happened to me very often throughout my life—very, very often in a work context. And it had nothing to do with the work itself. Rather, different worlds kept colliding.
On the one hand, my world, which could be strongly driven by a sense of justice, but also by egoism or a need for harmony. This became especially clear in the last two years of my employment. And some of you may now ask: “What does this have to do with strength? That sounds more like Prudentia.”
That’s true. Until now, I’ve mainly been analytical, pointing out friction points and systemic problems. But in the end, this really is about strength and about enduring—and that will become clear shortly.
Commitment to diversity and equality
In the final years of my employment, I increasingly shifted my focus toward equality, employee satisfaction, and employee retention. I wanted to develop myself, but also the company.
Through my further training in diversity management—which, depending on focus, relates to Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging—I learned a great deal in this area.
I very much wanted to combine what I had learned with my own lived experience and put it into practice. And in fact, I received support from many parts of the company. Just not from the place where I needed it most.
Conflict and being misunderstood
One reason for this was that a key person and I had two completely different ideas of what diversity management should be. For me, protecting employees was always the top priority—and, if necessary, their anonymity as well. For the other person, the focus was on visibility, or in my perception, on forcing visibility, especially internally.
There were repeated heated debates on very different topics. And in about 90% of cases—especially when it came to my neurodivergence and my perception of the world—I felt misunderstood.
Wanting to be heard
It felt as if my perspective was neither truly meant to be understood nor even heard. That had been the case before as well. When I was open about my neurodivergence, for example, I didn’t understand why I was supposed to keep it to myself. The subtext was that it would burden other people.
Requests in that direction were often ignored. Instead, what reached me was more along the lines of: “And what is the company supposed to do now?”—even though, at that time, it wasn’t supposed to do anything. People could have listened to me and perhaps later examined whether certain things, such as absences from work, might be related.
Carrying on despite frustration
I’m digressing a bit. Despite all these, for me, poor communication situations and the—seen from above—few successes, I kept going. I gave presentations, designed and ran workshops—all for more inclusion and understanding, including toward our users (customers).
For much of what I achieved, there was praise—for example, for my work in customer support for trans users. But for me, it was never enough.
Staying until the end
Many things took too long, many things were insufficient. Especially in international communication, a lot was hard to convey. It was enough to make you tear your hair out. And yet, right up until my final week, I continued working in the background and also trained colleagues so they would keep an eye on certain issues for me and stand up for people who already have it hard enough.
Not giving up
I’m proud that, somehow, I didn’t give up. Proud that I was able to move some people to see things differently or to dare to do something for themselves.
For me, there is no place for giving up in diversity management—only for fighting, or in the worst case, for finding a middle ground that offers positive aspects for both sides.
Taking a clear stand for equality, no matter how strong the headwind, is the be-all and end-all for me.
Gerry
